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I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:31 pm
by mslacat
OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:34 pm
by CoryChen
mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
What are you doing hiring grizzlies in the first place?
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:40 pm
by SonomaCat
mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
I'm not an attorney (and I won't recycle a lame HIE line here), but it definitely sounds kosher to me. Destruction of the boss' personal property certainly sounds like a reasonable cause to can someone.
Any legal problem with this!
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:40 pm
by SonomaCat
mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
I'm not an attorney (and I won't recycle a lame HIE line here), but it definitely sounds kosher to me. Destruction of the boss' personal property certainly sounds like a reasonable cause to can someone.
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:44 pm
by Grizlaw
mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
Yes, several:
1. The fact that it's a Bobcat trash can completely justifies all acts of vandalism toward it, from a legal standpoint (the theory being that anything that makes it less identifiable as a Bobcat trash can actually increases its value, thus eliminating any damages);
2. That aside, the fact that you reference God in your email may be read as implying that you discriminate against those who don't believe in God;
3. "Fire your ass" is a term that is open to several interpretations; some may read it as an actual physical threat (i.e., that you are going to shoot them in the rectal area with a firearm, or that you're going to light a torch and actually burn their rectal area. Alternately, any employee who actually owns a donkey might interpret your email as a threat against their donkey.)
Accordingly, if you must send such an email, I would suggest phrasing it as follows:
"To whom it may concern: going forward, any employee who makes physical contact with mslacat's waste basket will be terminated. Thanks, mgmt."
(Although, as noted in item number one, it is my sound legal opinion that any vandalism against a Bobcat wastebasket is entirely justified in the eyes of the law.)
Good luck!
--GL
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:46 pm
by HelenaCat95
Grizlaw wrote:mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
Yes, several:
1. The fact that it's a Bobcat trash can completely justifies all acts of vandalism toward it, from a legal standpoint (the theory being that anything that makes it less identifiable as a Bobcat trash can actually increases its value, thus eliminating any damages);
2. That aside, the fact that you reference God in your email may be read as implying that you discriminate against those who don't believe in God;
3. "Fire your ass" is a term that is open to several interpretations; some may read it as an actual physical threat (i.e., that you are going to shoot them in the rectal area with a firearm, or that you're going to light a torch and actually burn their rectal area. Alternately, any employee who actually owns a donkey might interpret your email as a threat against their donkey.)
Accordingly, if you must send such an email, I would suggest phrasing it as follows:
"To whom it may concern: going forward, any employee who makes physical contact with mslacat's waste basket will be terminated. Thanks, mgmt."
(Although, as noted in item number one, it is my sound legal opinion that any vandalism against a Bobcat wastebasket is entirely justified in the eyes of the law.)
Good luck!
--GL
That's funny.
MslaCat,
You got what you paid for, and it was worth every nickel.
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:48 pm
by mslacat
CoryChen wrote:mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
What are you doing hiring grizzlies in the first place?
Someone has to answer the phones, and besides I can get a person with a masters in english and minor political science/pottery for just above McDonald's wages!
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:48 pm
by Hello Kitty
[/quote]
Alternately, any employee who actually owns a donkey might interpret your email as a threat against their donkey.)
--GL[/quote]
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:51 pm
by mslacat
Grizlaw wrote:
3. "Fire your ass" is a term that is open to several interpretations; some may read it as an actual physical threat (i.e., that you are going to shoot them in the rectal area with a firearm, or that you're going to light a torch and actually burn their rectal area. ........
Actually that is exactly what I meant!!!!
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:55 pm
by HelenaCat95
mslacat wrote:Grizlaw wrote:
3. "Fire your ass" is a term that is open to several interpretations; some may read it as an actual physical threat (i.e., that you are going to shoot them in the rectal area with a firearm, or that you're going to light a torch and actually burn their rectal area. ........
Actually that is exactly what I meant!!!!
Grizlaw,
Is the above usually referred to as "Exhibit A"??
Re: I need free Legal Advise!!
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:32 pm
by ChiOCat
Grizlaw wrote:mslacat wrote:OK the Lawyers, I need some free advise hear. I have a small office sized trash basket with a Bobcat logo on it. I got it back in about 1988 or so. It has followed me around from office to office ever since. About once a year or so some smart alec, here in Missoula, decides it would be funny to screw with it. Oh isn't this cute we are going to screw with Msalcat's trash can. OK it was cute the first 4 years, but 18 years later I am ticked! Peminant markers , stickers are imposible to remove with out damaging the graphix. I don't want a new one I like this one.
Question: I have a short and sweet email to folks in the office.
New office policy: You touch my G*d D*amn waste basket! I will fire your *ss!!
Any legal problem with this!
Yes, several:
1. The fact that it's a Bobcat trash can completely justifies all acts of vandalism toward it, from a legal standpoint (the theory being that anything that makes it less identifiable as a Bobcat trash can actually increases its value, thus eliminating any damages);
2. That aside, the fact that you reference God in your email may be read as implying that you discriminate against those who don't believe in God;
3. "Fire your ass" is a term that is open to several interpretations; some may read it as an actual physical threat (i.e., that you are going to shoot them in the rectal area with a firearm, or that you're going to light a torch and actually burn their rectal area. Alternately, any employee who actually owns a donkey might interpret your email as a threat against their donkey.)
Accordingly, if you must send such an email, I would suggest phrasing it as follows:
"To whom it may concern: going forward, any employee who makes physical contact with mslacat's waste basket will be terminated. Thanks, mgmt."
(Although, as noted in item number one, it is my sound legal opinion that any vandalism against a Bobcat wastebasket is entirely justified in the eyes of the law.)
Good luck!
--GL
Now is that Pro-Bono (or Anti-Bono for BAC)???
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:53 pm
by briannell
GL-
funny stuff
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:00 pm
by briannell
well, you knew by giving advice you'd start the shameless lawyer jokes, so i'll start off with an old but good one. hey it even involves a mule (closest thing to an ass i could find
)
Farmer Joe and his Mule
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:10 pm
by ChiOCat
Also one of my fav's Rebecca!!!
My other, well. I won't tell it.
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:33 pm
by Grizlaw
I've actually never heard that one...and believe me, it's not often I hear a lawyer joke I haven't heard before...
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:57 pm
by ChiOCat
Grizlaw wrote:I've actually never heard that one...and believe me, it's not often I hear a lawyer joke I haven't heard before...
And do you find them comical?
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:11 pm
by briannell
oh come on heather - don't hold out on us, we're over 18!
i stole that last one from my sister, whom stole it originally from comedy central.
i tried to start a joke thread a few times, but no one helped out, may be you can get the boys to bite
Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:09 pm
by Grizlaw
ChiOCat wrote:Grizlaw wrote:I've actually never heard that one...and believe me, it's not often I hear a lawyer joke I haven't heard before...
And do you find them comical?
I like a good lawyer joke just as much as I like any other good joke. Honestly, I think the legal profession gets a lot of undeserved negative attention from the actions of a small minority of lawyers, but I do have a sense of humor about it...
--GL
Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:05 am
by ChiOCat
OK, since GL has a sense of humor about them
Q: What do a Lawyer and a Sperm cell have in common?
A: They both have one in a million chance of becoming a human.
Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:38 am
by briannell
Heather-
I like that one, i'll have to send it to my brother and see what his reaction is
