Political Jokes

Cat-theotherwhitemeat · Post by **Cat-theotherwhitemeat** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:28 pm

What is George W. Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade?

He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.

Grizlaw · Post by **Grizlaw** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:43 pm

Nice.

Here's an oldie but goodie:

A guy dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, he sees two doors, one of which has a sign that says "Capitalist Hell," and the other which says "Socialist Hell." There is a really long line to get into Socialist Hell, but nobody is standing in line to go to Capitalist Hell.

Curious as to why that is, he goes up to someone who is standing in line and asks what happens when you go to Socialist Hell. The guy responds by telling him that, first, they burn you over an open fire, second, they boil you in hot oil, and finally, they throw you on the racks and leave you there for eternity. "That sounds pretty bad," says the guy. "What do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?" The guy in line responds, "The same thing."

So now our guy is really confused, and he asks "well if they're both the same, then why does everyone want to go to Socialist Hell?" To which the guy in line responds, "In Socialist Hell, they're also eternally out of firewood, hot oil, and racks."

Cat-theotherwhitemeat · Post by **Cat-theotherwhitemeat** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:51 pm

How are politicians and dirty dipers alike?

They both need changing for the same reason.

Cat-theotherwhitemeat · Post by **Cat-theotherwhitemeat** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:52 pm

Bumper sticker seen on a car in Miami, Florida:

Will the last American leaving Dade County please bring the flag.

'93HonoluluCat · Post by **'93HonoluluCat** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:41 pm

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.

grizzh8r · Post by **grizzh8r** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:18 pm

'93HonoluluCat wrote:A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.

AHAHHAH great one!! The welfare system in this country is so sad....

Grizlaw · Post by **Grizlaw** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:34 pm

grizzh8r wrote:AHAHHAH great one!! The welfare system in this country is so sad....

Specifically what changes would you want to see implemented?

'93HonoluluCat · Post by **'93HonoluluCat** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 2:13 am

Grizlaw wrote:
grizzh8r wrote:AHAHHAH great one!! The welfare system in this country is so sad....
Specifically what changes would you want to see implemented?

Come on, GL...Meat started a funny thread; don't go serious on us!

BozoneCat · Post by **BozoneCat** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:15 am

Grizlaw wrote:
grizzh8r wrote:AHAHHAH great one!! The welfare system in this country is so sad....
Specifically what changes would you want to see implemented?

I'd implement the "Costanza Solution": to do the exact opposite of everything that is currently being done!

Cat-theotherwhitemeat · Post by **Cat-theotherwhitemeat** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:23 pm

For those Hillary haters....

'93HonoluluCat · Post by **'93HonoluluCat** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:39 pm

One good image joke requires another

(I know it's history, but it's still finny)

iaafan · Post by **iaafan** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 3:22 pm

Here's the best one I've heard in the last five years:

George W. Bush!

That one kills me every time.

Uncle Rico · Post by **Uncle Rico** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:03 pm

'93HonoluluCat · Post by **'93HonoluluCat** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:31 pm

iaafan wrote:Here's the best one I've heard in the last five years:

George W. Bush!

That one kills me every time.

How about Ralph Nader?

$\:D/$

RyeCat · Post by **RyeCat** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:11 am

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident'

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands Finally, the President looks up and
asks..........

''How many is a Brazillion ??!'

'93HonoluluCat · Post by **'93HonoluluCat** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:34 am

RyeCat wrote:Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident'

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands Finally, the President looks up and
asks..........

''How many is a Brazillion ??!'

That is funny!