Griz Jokes

Cats27Griz20 · Post by **Cats27Griz20** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 9:53 am

What do you call a drug ring in Missoula? A huddle!

There are 4 Griz in a car, who's driving? The Police!

It was reported that the artifical turf in Washington stadium is being replaced because the Griz play much better on "grass".

The Griz have adopted a new "Honor System". Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".

How do you know when a Griz is about to say something smart? He starts his sentence "a Bobcat told me:.

Coach Hauck told one of his players who received four F's and one D: Son, looks to me like you are spending too much time on one subject.

How do you make a Griz QB laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

JahGriz · Post by **JahGriz** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 11:46 am

Now those are funny

. But would be much funnier and more relevant if Griz was substitued with cat.

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:03 pm

Team Loyalty
Four football fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different Big Sky conference team and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Weber State fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting ``This is for the Wildcats!`` as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be outdone, the Northern Arizona fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming ``This is for the Lumberjacks!`` Seeing this, the Bobcat fan walked over and shouted ``This is for everyone!`` and pushed the Grizzly fan off the mountain. [/b]

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:06 pm

On a tour of Kalispel, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit Flathead Lake for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing a University of Montana jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Montana State University jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark`s side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious, sandal-wearing Granola from the water. Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it, too, into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. ``I give you my blessing for your brave actions,`` he told them. ``I have heard that there were some bitter hatreds between Um & MSU, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true.``

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, ``Who was that?``

``It was the Pope,`` one replied. ``He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God`s wisdom.``

``Well,`` the harpooner said, ``he may have access to God`s wisdom, but he doesn`t know anything about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need another one?``

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:07 pm

Two boys were walking in a park in Bozeman and one was suddenly under attack by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped off a board from a nearby fence, wedged it down the dog`s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog`s neck and saving his friend`s life. A reporter with the Bozeman Daily Chronicle was strolling by and saw the incident. He rushed over to interview the boy. ``MEMBER OF JUNIOR BOBCAT CLUB RESCUES FRIEND FROM HORRIFIC ATTACK,`` he starts writing in his notebook. ``But I`m not a member of the Bobcat Club,`` the little boy told him.`` ``Sorry, since we`re in Bozeman, I just assumed you were,`` said the reporter. He starts again, ``BOBCAT FOOTBALL FAN SAVED FRIEND FROM VICIOUS ANIMAL,`` wrote the reporter. ``I`m not a Bobcat football fan either,`` said the boy. ``Well, gosh,`` said the reporter, I thought everyone in Bozeman pulled for MSU. Just who do you root for?`` the reporter asked. ``I`m a GRIZ fan,`` said the boy with pride. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook, ``LITTLE HIPPIE HOMO BASTARD MURDERS BELOVED FAMILY PET.``

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:07 pm

What do you get when you cross a hippie and a football player? A Grizzly player

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:10 pm

How many UofM Freshmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, its a Sophomore course

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:12 pm

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ``Wanna hear a Grizzly joke?`` The guy next to him replies, ``Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I`m 6` tall, 200 lbs., and I am a UofM grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6 ` 2`` tall, weighs 225, and he`s a UofM grad. The fella next to him is 6 ` 5`` tall, weighs 250, and he`s a UofM grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?`` The first guy says, ``No, not if I`m gonna have to explain it three times.``

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:14 pm

Why do the Grizzly football players have T.G.I.F. written on the tongues of their shoes? so they remember that ``Toes Go In First``

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:17 pm

Bobby Hauck had died and gone to heaven. St. Peter showed him to his final resting place--a small single room wood hut with an outhouse. Bobby turned around and saw a huge mansion on the hill with MSU flags flying proudly in front. Bobby asked St Peter, ``Why do I get this hut when Mike Kramer gets that mansion?`` St. Peter replied, ``That`s not Kramer`s house. That`s where God lives!`` Go Cats!

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:19 pm

Q: What`s the difference between the Grizzlies and the Taliban?

A: The Taliban has a running game

LongTimeCatFan · Post by **LongTimeCatFan** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:20 pm

Whats the difference between the Grizzlies and Cheerios?

Cheerios Belong in a Bowl.

Cat-theotherwhitemeat · Post by **Cat-theotherwhitemeat** » Wed Jul 28, 2004 4:22 pm

A cowboy from Montana dies and goes to Hell.
The devil comes over and askes the cowboy "Hot enough for ya?".
The cowboy replies "Ah, feels like the end of June in Montana".
The devil gets pissed, goes back and turns up the heat. The devil comes back and says to the cowboy..."How about now, hot enough for ya?".
The cowboy replies "Not too bad, feels like the middle of July in Montana".
The devil cranks the heat all the way up and says "How about now cowboy, hot enough for ya?".
The cowboy says "Feels like the middle of August in Montana...kinda nice".

The devil gets really pissed. Goes back, turns off the heat and cranks the A.C. all the way...."Huh?...What do you think of that cowboy?".

The cowboy looks around and says "Feels like the last time the Bobcats won a playoff game".

JahGriz · Post by **JahGriz** » Wed Jul 28, 2004 4:31 pm

- we have a winner.

catatac · Post by **catatac** » Thu Jul 29, 2004 9:08 am

What did the Griz fan say after his honeymoon?

I coulda had sex with her...

El_Gato · Post by **El_Gato** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 6:02 pm

A Cat fan, Griz fan, & Carroll fan are driving down the road one day when they notice a naked woman laying in the ditch. They stop and approach the woman, only to discover that she's dead. They all feel sorry for the young lady and each place their school hats on her, attempting to protect her dignity until the police arrive; the Cat & Carroll fans each place their hat over a breast while the Griz puts his over her pubic region. When the police arrive, a detective takes out his notebook and begins to examine the body.

After the detective takes a few photos, he lifts the Cat hat, then the Carroll hat, and finally, the Griz hat. He then lifts the Griz hat again, replaces it, lifts it again, and replaces it again.

The 3 fans are a little disturbed by this so finally the Griz fan says "Officer, knock that off! Are you some kind of sicko or something?"

The cop replies "No, not at all. It's just that I usually find an asshole under a Griz hat."

catatac · Post by **catatac** » Thu Sep 23, 2004 8:25 am

That's a good one...

Sidenote - If there is no such thing as a stupid question, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?