North Dakota jokes

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Hell's Bells
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North Dakota jokes

Post by Hell's Bells » Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:32 am

Dumb North Dakota Laws
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon


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Re: North Dakota jokes

Post by WYCAT » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:29 pm

Hell's Bells wrote:Dumb North Dakota Laws
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Is this really true? And if so, what on earth could have motivated someone to suggest this let alone get enough people to agree to it that it becomes a law!



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Re: North Dakota jokes

Post by Hell's Bells » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:32 pm

WYCAT wrote:
Hell's Bells wrote:Dumb North Dakota Laws
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Is this really true? And if so, what on earth could have motivated someone to suggest this let alone get enough people to agree to it that it becomes a law!
just trying to start a thread to tell North Dakota jokes....


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Re: North Dakota jokes

Post by Grizlaw » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:34 pm

WYCAT wrote:Is this really true? And if so, what on earth could have motivated someone to suggest this let alone get enough people to agree to it that it becomes a law!
I agree it's a stupid law, but if it really is true, I would think the motivation would be that eating salty foods causes a person to become more thirsty, which in turn causes them to drink more. (This is why bars tend to offer things like free pretzels and salted peanuts to customers.) I could see a lawmaker arguing that making it illegal to offer salty foods might help curb excessive drinking.

I'm not sure why the law would single out pretzels, though, without including other salted foods. Maybe the salted peanut industry lobby has a stronger presence in the ND legislature than one would expect? ;)


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Post by El_Gato » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:37 pm

Actually, having been to North Dakota ONCE, I'd have to believe the thought process is that this law would force you to leave the bar once in awhile in search of food...

:wink: :lol:


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Post by Grizlaw » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:57 pm

El_Gato wrote:Actually, having been to North Dakota ONCE, I'd have to believe the thought process is that this law would force you to leave the bar once in awhile in search of food...

:wink: :lol:
LOL. I've never spent time in North Dakota, but one of the few times I passed through was on an Amtrak train. They had to stop the train in the middle of the state to arrest an 18-year-old guy who was travelling by himself because the kid had broken into the lounge car on the train in the middle of the night and stolen & consumed a ridiculous amount of liquor. The next morning at breakfast, I remember someone from Montana making a crack about North Dakota being such a depressing state that some people can't even pass through on a train without feeling an irresistable urge to get bombed. :)


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Post by WYOBISONMAN » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:53 pm

And then there was the Montanan who stepped in a cowpie...........he started to cry because he thought he was melting....
Last edited by WYOBISONMAN on Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Post by Hell's Bells » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:54 pm

how many North Dakotan's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5 to twist the light bulb in and 1 montanan to show them how...


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Post by WYOBISONMAN » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:55 pm

Do you know why North Dakota is so windy..........Because Montana Sucks and Minnesota Blows........... :lol:


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Post by WYOBISONMAN » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:56 pm

Q-----How do you tell the men from the boys in Montana??



A----Velcro on the gloves........... :lol:


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Post by CelticCat » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:57 pm

Montana and North Dakota got into a war. ND troops threw dynamite over the border. We picked them up, lit them, and threw them back.


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Post by Grizlaw » Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:04 pm

Montanan and a North Dakotan were working on the roof of a barn, when the ladder that they had used to get up on the roof fell over. After trying to figure out a way to get off the roof, they finally determined that they only way was to jump into a pile of manure that was next to the barn.

So the North Dakotan goes first, and the Montanan yells down, "How deep is it?" The North Dakotan yells back up, "It's up to my neck!" So the Montanan covers his nose and mouth and jumps, but when he lands he is surprised to find that the manure is only up to his ankles. So the Montanan says to the North Dakotan, "I thought you said it was up to your neck?" And the North Dakotan responded, "Well it is, if you go headfirst like I did."


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Post by WYOBISONMAN » Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:10 pm

Once upon a time a MT mountain lion and a ND mountain lion met each other. The MT lion was a skinny, malnourished, wormy looking creature while the ND lion was fat, healthy and happy. When the ND lion saw the MT lion he was very concerned.

"What is wrong with you MT lions", he asked. "Are you eating well? I eat about 20 North Dakotans a day."

"Well", said the MT lion, "I eat about 20 Montanans a day, but I think the problem is when I pounce on them, I knock the wind out of them. Then I roar when I catch them and that scares the $hit out of them, and by that time there is really nothing left to eat......" :lol: :lol: :lol:


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Post by go_bison » Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:24 pm

What are the 3 biggest lies of a Montanan?

Yeah, my truck is paid for.

Yeah, I won this belt buckle.

I was only trying to get the sheep over the fence, officer.

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Post by BismarckBison » Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:31 pm

Real Montana Laws

It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
(I hear this one is a problem)

It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.


It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.


In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.



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Post by Cat-theotherwhitemeat » Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:37 pm

Q - What do you call a mop in North Dakota?
A - The state flag.

Q - Why do North Dakotans have such pretty noses?
A - Because they are hand picked.


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Post by BisonCardinal » Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:55 pm

At a Bozeman bar, a UM alum, a MSU alum and a NDSU alum are standing at a urinal.

The UM alum finishes and starts washing his hands, scrubs them all the way to his elbows and dries off with 20 paper towels. "At Montana, they teach to be clean".

The MSU alum finishes, wets the tips of his fingers briefly and dries with one paper towel. "At Montana State, they teach us to be environmentally sensitive".

The NDSU alum finishes and as he is walking out the door, says "At NDSU, they teach us not to piss on our hands".



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Post by bisonthunder » Mon Sep 19, 2005 4:00 pm

Q----How do Montanans practice safe sex?


A----They mark the sheep that kick.



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Post by CelticCat » Mon Sep 19, 2005 4:12 pm

A North Dakotan, a Texan, and a Montana were all being chased by a group of Indians on the warpath. They run up a tree to try and hide.

The Montanan goes "CAA, CAA" to pretend he is a crow.

The Texan goes "CAA, CAA" for the same reason.

The North Dakotan lets out a loud "MOOOOOO."


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Post by MinotBison » Mon Sep 19, 2005 4:59 pm

Q: Do you know the difference between Miss Montana and a walrus?
A: About ten lbs. and a moustache.

Q: You know how you get the two to look more alike?
A: Shave Miss Montana and force feed the walrus.



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